I Am Thankful

I'd like to wish one and all a very Happy Christmas Halftime or Thanksgiving (if you remember that's what it is and insist on it.) I was asked the other night during a live stream out of Thackerville, Oklahoma, (Yes Virginia, there is a Thackerville, Oklahoma) what I was thankful for. An excellent question to which I gave an incomplete answer. I would like to add a few more things to the list knowing there are more to follow at some point.

I am thankful for profanity which allows me to express my disgust and dismay for a world and its people that could and should be doing so much better. Without those words to expel my anger, I doubt I would remember to smile.

I am thankful that we have moved into a new age, although many in power haven't noticed. This new age demands more of us as we have to grasp a new way of looking at life and finding a away to care about each other, as every screen we turn to seems to separate us. (Full disclosure: I get lost sometimes in the changes we are going through.)

My hope is that what we are living through are the death throes of ignorance. Its shrieks of hate and baseless assumptions do not belong in the 21st Century, making it a last stand in this century in which civility, intelligence and wit will prevail. (Full disclosure: I've never been right about anything I've predicted.)

I am thankful for our new president who thinks everything is going to be hunky fucking dory, although I believe it will be the most litigious four years of any president. So I am thankful for full employment for at least our legal profession as they defend the lives, the liberties and the pursuits of happiness that both sides feel they are defending. (Should spawn a whole new cable channel to cover it all.)

I am thankful for the soon to be built Jewy Jew's gun store.

I am thankful for the need for Lewis Black's White Baby Farm, soon to be in full operational mode. I have kept my sperm frozen for years until the time was right. Boy... I hope I've got enough to satisfy the demand. And I am willing to do house calls. Wink. Wink.

I am thankful for every asshole who will feel the need to spew their invective out about my giving thanks, like it's their fucking business to judge what I'm thankful for.

I am thankful for you, my fans, for listening to me prattle on. Your support means the world to me. I wish you nothing but the best.

And I'm thankful I'm here in Rome today, trying to find the Pope as I am seeking any kind of asylum, including the insane one.

Happy Thanksgiving! ~ Lewis Black